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Posts Tagged ‘unable to breastfeed’

As soon as I became a mother, I felt an immediate shift from being judged as a woman to being judged as a mother.  I can’t explain what happened but I can tell you that I felt like a failure instantly.  I don’t want to go into the long version of the story but the feeling of failure came from not being able to breastfeed immediately, Baby J constantly crying and various other little things.  

Motherhood has taught me so much.  The first lesson is that I will never judge other mothers again.  Well, I think that I will judge those that are just plain stupid – I will judge you if you put your children in danger!!  Please don’t be Michael Jackson and hang your child over a ledge and we will be okay.  I am definitely not the mother that I thought that I would be.  I thought that I would be in charge and set schedules and have this perfect child.  Well, I love Baby J to pieces and he brings joy to my life every day, but he is not perfect.  He is extremely demanding.  When I say demanding, I mean it.  I don’t go to the bathroom or do chores without him right by my side.  And for all those naysayers out there who believe that he is spoiled, I invite you to live my life for a few hours and see what you think.  I have tried tough love, I have tried lots of love and nothing has seemed to work.  He wants to be with me 24/7.  But that is mine to deal with as I see fit. 

I think that as mothers we have a tendency to have strong feelings about different things.  For instance, breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, cloth vs. disposable diapers, co-sleeping vs. crib and these are just a few topics that the boards on babycenter.com and others will discuss. I think, at the end of the day, that we all want the same thing – a healthy, happy child.  And as mothers, we should band together rather than judge others.  The saying, “walk in her shoes” exists for a reason and we should try to remember that!

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