As soon as I became a mother, I felt an immediate shift from being judged as a woman to being judged as a mother. I can’t explain what happened but I can tell you that I felt like a failure instantly. I don’t want to go into the long version of the story but the feeling of failure came from not being able to breastfeed immediately, Baby J constantly crying and various other little things.
Motherhood has taught me so much. The first lesson is that I will never judge other mothers again. Well, I think that I will judge those that are just plain stupid – I will judge you if you put your children in danger!! Please don’t be Michael Jackson and hang your child over a ledge and we will be okay. I am definitely not the mother that I thought that I would be. I thought that I would be in charge and set schedules and have this perfect child. Well, I love Baby J to pieces and he brings joy to my life every day, but he is not perfect. He is extremely demanding. When I say demanding, I mean it. I don’t go to the bathroom or do chores without him right by my side. And for all those naysayers out there who believe that he is spoiled, I invite you to live my life for a few hours and see what you think. I have tried tough love, I have tried lots of love and nothing has seemed to work. He wants to be with me 24/7. But that is mine to deal with as I see fit.
I think that as mothers we have a tendency to have strong feelings about different things. For instance, breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, cloth vs. disposable diapers, co-sleeping vs. crib and these are just a few topics that the boards on babycenter.com and others will discuss. I think, at the end of the day, that we all want the same thing – a healthy, happy child. And as mothers, we should band together rather than judge others. The saying, “walk in her shoes” exists for a reason and we should try to remember that!
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